In our great 'linguistic melting pot country', we speak Hindilish. The
entire range of emotions can be measured in Hindish, Benglish, Punjish,
Tamlish and Gujjish. Here is a letter showing this.

Hey Yaar there !

Arre bhai, yesterday I go restaurant and they ask, what bil you hab ?
Cadberry ? Papsee ? Or one bottle Thunderbolt, one 'baees ka pauwa' and one
lag piece ? Or bil it be straight 'chempen' ? Talking of alcohol, do you
know there are three kinds of beer in India ? One you drink, one you sleep
with (called 'taddy beer' - you hug it) and one you having nothing to do
with, since you cannot 'beer' it. Not to talk of the Gujju Beers of Dalal
Street who in these Bull Harshad Mehta days, ask each other, (instead of the
customary 'kem che ?') 'scam che ?'

Coming back to good old Punjaaaaab, everything is 'fitta-fit', thank you.
'The loins of Bhatinda welcome you' says a roadside sign. The greatest of
their loins, Ajit (of the 'Tawny','Raabert' and 'Mona Darrrling' fame)
inaugurated the 'Groin young loins, mathlab Leo as in leopard' Club just the
other day.

The Bengalis like to 'shit outside' in the cool 'bridge'. Of course, it is
impossible to cross the Howrah 'breeze' these days, especially during the
'crush' hour, when your clothes in the crowded buses get 'crust'.

Bengalis do not have 's' sound and Oriyas do not have 'sh'. So when Bengalis
sing 'God shave the queen', Oriyas shout 'Same, same'.

Delhi 'sacooter taxi vallas' will say 'Woh Susu ki' referring to Maruti
Suzuki.

And a Delhi teenager might ask a restaurant waiter to 'rape the snakes'
(wrap the snacks) and 'snakes' could be anything from 'peeza' to 'baig-dish'
(baked dish) to 'senwich' or a plain 'aam-late'. And the waiter asks 'Do you
want them raped separate, separate or together ?'

Which all amounts to BJP. No, not the Bharatiya Janata Party, but 'Bada
Jollu Party' of Tamil Nadu (this acronym refers to a 'lecher') with its
'jalrafying' tendencies. Ready-aaa ? In Tamil Nadu, 'somebody else' becomes
'somebody yells' and villages become 'vill-aage' and marriages, 'marr-aaage'
and people vacation in 'Gova' and 'Lenden'. And not to forget that bakery
called 'Standard confessionary' (sic) in Madras who are the 'biggest loafers
in town'. And Madras folks are also concerned about others' opinions and
wonder 'What will four people think, saaar ?'

Which brings us to my native land, Rajasthan. One english tutor was heard
telling his pupil that 'pittal' is 'bras'. And also that 'Mooli' is
'carrot'. The mother of the student overheard and came in and asked 'Isn't
Mooli radish ?' To which the embarrassed teacher replied 'Yes, yes, Mooli is
sometimes reddish and sometimes whitish.'

And two IIT Kanpur professors were bickering about regional accents. When
one Bihari professor got up to make a speech "Bhy bharchu of the authority
bheshted in me ...." he was interrupted by his Malayali colleague, (A
Malayali colleague = Malayaleague) who commented "What atrocious accent !".
Stung, the Bihari retorted. "Bhat bil you shay ?" "Why, I would say it
'praperly'" said the Malayali "Like 'By wertu yof the yatarity wasted in
me...."

I am not knowing if you are doing the understanding ?